Monday, November 17, 2008

I am an over-paid bathroom attendant.

My job is not glamorous...just ask my husband who has to hear all my day's complaints at 2:30 PM EVERYDAY as I drive home from work and vent with exasperation. I have 2 students who have to be taken to the bathroom and supervised. Not a big deal, except one of them thinks visiting the bathroom is pure enjoyment. She doesn't talk and wears a diaper that she can take off by herself, so all day she gives me the ASL sign for bathroom. We go to the bathroom...I stand and wait for her to do her thing...she stares at me...I stare at her...she shakes her head...I nod mine...she refuses to pull down her pants and sit on the toilet so I gesture for us to leave...she shakes her head...I nod mine:::::AHHHHHHHHH. We do this about 3 times a day (I send an aide with her the other 5 times and I turn down a sign for toilet about every 5 min.) The really hard part is that she snarls at me with bloody gums (I have reported this a few times now) and goes to pinch me. I started putting socks on her hands to send the message that there won't be any pinching on my clock. The other student is a male who cannot wipe himself. My co-teacher, a male, is a good sport and wraps a towel around his face like a bandit so he can attend to this task. This kiddo also cannot wipe his nose and he emptied his sinuses while I shrieked and ran the other way. Again, good old Shawn came to my rescue. "I will not eat for 3 days if I have to wipe his nose!" Shawn just laughs and wipes him down. I'm serious though. Green goo out of a appetite suppressant in the world. Even I don't want to lost weight that badly.

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