Saturday, December 19, 2009

You Asked For It!

Our trip to Hawaii is fast approaching, so getting the house clean is on the list of things to do before we go. My boys share a room and Kindsay has her own room--both rooms are a mess. Not a mess as in, "Wow." But a mess as in "just get this stuff put away and we can go on with our day." so they weren't that bad!! The rule was--no leaving the room unless the room is clean, closets and under the beds included--except to do room-cleaning business. Amazing--my children were in their rooms ALLLLLLL day. Either I'm a genius and have figured out how to have a quiet day while my children are home, or I'm an idiot because my children's rooms are now much worse than they were at the start. I think I'm an idiot. Please refrain.
For the boys...they can do a great job, even down to making the beds with perfection and having the floor cleaned...but today--alas, must be the start of a holiday because I don't recognize the two turkeys in my house! It was like a wrestling match all day, the bedding on the beds being part of the equipment as well as any and all items on their shelves. Slowly I lost sight of the floor. Finally at 4:00 PM I told them, "You know the day is gone and it's time for dinner and bed soon." They both stopped and jaw-dropped each other...then carried on their way. Ty finally stopped and whined something about needing to eat, but I quickly pointed out the hangers on the floor to be put away. Yes, I'm a dictator! No, I didn't win that war! Yes, I'm being overthrown by the government, except it's gorilla-warfare because my kids are ANIMALS! Am I alone in this? One thing for sure is that Kindsay is a product of A Beautiful Mind. It was actually unnerving, which isn't out of the ordinary for her, but at some point you reach a corner and when you turn it you want to run the other way only to find a wall behind you that you hit full speed and fall over, though I'm surprised I've yet to go into a coma (self-induced might not be a bad idea). Kindsay had the same rule applied to her today. She can do an awesome job cleaning her room--swear! She can really amaze us...when there's enough at stake. Money or a spank will usually get her moving, but today she had whatever fever my boys had because she was going to have none of it. She too sat in her room ALL day; however, she was alone. Now, the boys have each other to jump between beds and thrash, but Kindsay managed to do that all by herself, and she's thirteen so that's even worse. Her room only had a laundry basket of clothing to put away and a few items on the floor (school stuff, a doll, the microwave has become a permanent fixture but I'd love to see that thing moved into the garage...but usual stuff.) I stripped her bed to wash her sheets so she didn't have to make her bed, which was even less work for her, right?? Now, I'm not an ogre who barks a blanket order and expects perfection...I start out in pieces "Go get all the trash off the floor." "Now, put all the clothes on the bed." Small 1-step instructions so that they can feel some kind of control of their surroundings...but Kindsay took my 'help' in a new direction. "Throw all your trash away" has new meaning, meaning that I wish to erase from my mind--but I can't, so I'm going to invade your mind with it. Watch the video so you know it's not just my wild imagination--it's not long--but it's her sitting in her room on the floor and the mess of the room in all its filthy glory along with her version of throwing away trash. Russell Crowe comes to mind when you see it--except I wish she thought she were a spy so I could send her on a 'mission', Adding insult to injury, the Christmas music blaring in the background is in her room. All she needs is an organ and a black cape and all the pieces would be in place.
If you can't quite understand it, Kindsay had taken all the trash (remember now, she LOVES ads, junk mail, and any kind of paper product so her room is like a rat's nest with useless recyclables shoved into her desk or under the bed)...anyway, she'd taken all the paper goods, with which she should just start scrapbooking--let's face it--and cut them into confetti pieces over her trash can. I'd say half got into the can. Now if that isn't going the LONG way around the block...then such a thing doesn't exist. BTW--her room never got done either. Time to break out the wallet or crack my knuckles for a good paddling over my knee. It's gonna cost me either way since she's no dummy when it comes to the same time five and half feet and 115 lbs over my knee sounds like a killer...maybe I should just hold a car wash and earn the money to send her to camp (is there a camp year-round?).