It was a blur...that's all I have. Probably the most difficult year as a teacher. I am ready to do something else. Teaching kids with special needs all day and then coming home to it has finally begun to deeply wear on me...meaning, I'm having to dye my hair more, exercise, and yet eat more junk food just to comfort myself. If you think I'm joking--well, if you could ask anyone that has come into my classroom you will be told the same, "Whatever diet I was on went out the window by period 2." Truth.
It's also been a nightmare with my youngest son. He's in sixth grade and all the sudden failing all his subjects. How he went from honor roll to an SST (Student Study Team) is beyond my understanding. On top of that, I had my mom watch him one day and she watched Insidious while he was there...the child hasn't left my side since October. If he's not with me, he's carrying the poor dogs everywhere he goes.
It's also been a challenge with my oldest son becoming more like a teenager. His love for me and need to snuggle with me has now become a secret since any touching by me in public is a NO-NO. This day I have dreaded and never actually thought it would come because he is so affectionate with me. He gives me a no signal with his hand, while with his eyes he is saying, "Later, Mom...not now!" I wish I could shout to all his friends, "He still cuddles me all the time!!" but that would be for my own ego.
My oldest daughter has been my reprieve! She's been doing so well, been happier and more eager to come home to visit...sigh.
Kindsay, well....she's Kindsay, isn't she? Not much will change I'm afraid. And yet, we have had a lot of fun with her lately. We played Pictionary (Disney version) a few nights ago and she kicked all our butts. I couldn't let her pick the picture for her to draw because we all guessed "princess"...of course that's what she'd pick, but when it was her turn to guess she was on fire! We need those moments with her to realize she's got so much going on inside--it IS there...it's getting out that is the real challenge.
Unfortunately, her doctor, as you've read, has wanted to "cure" her by cutting back all her meds. Are we suffering yet? Kinda...she's been very hyper. She blurts oddities all day. I'm called a "cuckoo head" about fifteen times a day, and she doesn't hold back on anyone else. She also repeats the dogs' names all day..."Lily, Pee Wee, Lily, Pee Wee, Lily, Pee Wee..." ....once she did it for fifteen minutes straight. The dogs at first thought they were getting something out of it. Now their ears don't even perk up. She better hope she never falls into a well. Those dogs will NOT come running.
As far as her love life goes...she is "dating" a boy in her class. She tells us, "E*** is dating me and another girl. Yeah, he wants to date us both." When she says 'date' she doesn't mean going out. She doesn't go out, so how does that work when the only time the boy sees either girl is at school? My son asks, "How does he date both of you at school?" Kindsay said very seriously, "I have NO idea." Love life: right where we want it. It's weird to think that in ten months we'll be filing for conservator-ship for her so we'll have rights when she's an adult. Sometimes I think it'll be hard to convince a judge, but then when I tried to tell her the truth about Santa, she fired up on me in his defense. I'll tell the judge, "Ask about Santa." If that doesn't work I'll have my family come vouch for me. For Christmas Eve I gave each child a new set of jammies. I bought her footie pajamas in leopard print with a cat face that sat on top of each foot. She's 5'8"...no small duck, so this was a large jammie, (XL actually)...they opened them up at my mom's with all the family sitting around. When she pulled it out she was so happy...anything that makes her feel like an infant is a great gift, so footie jammies nailed it. I told her to go try them on and come show us. Seconds later, and I mean seconds, she came out and stood before us. Aaaaahhh, could be heard around the room, and then...wait...what? My sister said, "Why does the neck part look like it's choking her?" I looked down at her feet and the cat faces were on top like they should be. and yet, the neck did look high. "Turn around Kindsay." Sure enough, there was the zipper up her back. Kindsay, I say, how on earth did you get those on backwards? I mean, that zipper went from her shin to neck. She had twisted the feet around so the cats were on top, but the neck was high on her because it was supposed to be on the back. OK all...I say...when I apply for conservator-ship, you come as my witnesses--she put her jammies on backwards. We still have no idea how she zipped that mother up.
As far as my husband and I go...we survived another year. I never wish the time to go by. I never say, "I can't wait until they are grown!" I know it will be here very soon...the Legos will be picked up and put away finally, the sound of boys wrestling and throwing couch pillows will be gone, the tees and jeans will no longer need daily washing...although I will still be hearing "Lily, Pee Wee, Lily, Pee Wee, Lily, Pee Wee....Mom--you're a cuckoo-head!"
Ah, that I am.
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