The Lizard

Kindsay is dying for a pet...I know, a funny use of words since usually the pet is the one that is dying. If it's alive, Kindsay will bottle it and keep it. Bottle it even without holes in the lid. That's what happened to poor Lizzie the Lizard. I should have reminded my dad that when Kindsay goes out to his property for a visit that she is not allowed to bottle anything and bring it home. I was too late on the reminder last week when the kids were off from school and had to stay at Grandpa's while I worked. Sure enough I got the call from my dad. "Just to let you know, Kindsay found a lizard and it's coming home with her." Groan! was my response. What was my dad to do? Argue with the unarguable? Kindsay does not respond well to the word no, especially when it comes to animals. Do you even know how long it took me to get her to stay away from Birdie out front of my house? I think the bird finally just picked up her nest in her little bird claws and flew far far away because Kindsay spent too much time poking it with a stick. So now we've got Lizzie. ew. It was about 6 inches long with a blue stomach, which Kindsay liked to point out, "It is a blue lizard, a blue one." Whatever that means. Too bad it didn't mean "lizard that likes to bite little girls" because that is exactly what Kindsay needed. Do I have a home for this thing? Depends on who you ask. The Gladware disposable tupperware that Kindsay used to house it would indicate yes, but since the Gladware was void of breathing holes and room large enough for the lizard to roll over, I would say no. Kindsay couldn't even feed it, shocking. Lizards like bugs and flies and my bug/fly collection was pretty low so Lizzie was hungry during her stay. Kindsay would fill the Gladware with water and I suppose that was the life sustaining sustenance of choice. So Day 1 our conversation went like this: "Kindsay, you have to get rid of that lizard. You can't feed..." "NO! I WILL NOT! IT'S MY LIZARD, I AM KEEPING IT!" "Kindsay, how will it eat?" "YOU JUST BETTER STOP TALKING...JUST STOP!" Day 2: "Kindsay, what have you fed the lizard?" "OH MOM, JUST STOP TALKING! I let it out in the sandbox." So she let the lizard out in our sandbox and that was its rare opportunity to snag a bug and eat. Lizzie was frozen, probably in terror, so it didn't appear to NOT like its new life in Kindsay's eyes. I just kept waiting for it to wind up in my microwave. But alas. One night Greg and I took Garon to the movies (he was the only one that wanted to go) so we left Ty at my mom's and Kindsay at home with Lizzie. We got home after a couple or hours to find our house turned upside down as though we'd been robbed. Even the garage was dismantled. Greg was furious and spent the whole evening cleaning. I find out the next day that my step-dad had Ty call my house to check on Kindsay while we were at the movies, and she told Ty she'd lost the lizard in the house. That explains the boxes turned over and house in shambles...grrrr. Every night I would tell Greg to get rid of Lizzie while Kindsay slept, and every morning Kindsay would go outside and find it sitting in the sandbox, frozen with fear. One would've thought it was a stuffed lizard. I would hear Kindsay having a full blown, well, one-sided conversation in the backyard only to realize she was talking to the poor lizard. Maybe it was frozen like a possum to play dead and hope Kindsay would leave it alone? Finally, Kindsay got into huge trouble with me, I think for belting her brother with a good hit on the back and that was the final straw! I had Greg take the lizard once and for all and GET RID OF IT! Kindsay knew she was in huge trouble and didn't balk at the removal of her pet. The next morning I find Kindsay dumping her lizard tank into my laundry room trash can. "Whoa Kindsay, what is that?" 'Oh oh oh, they're meal worms...my teacher got them for me for the lizard." Dumping a water tank of meal worms into my laundry room trash can? Does she understand now that she cannot have a pet? Well, Saturday she went to the movies with a girl from her class at school. I bought her a ticket then gave her some money for snacks. Kindsay is nobody's fool. That girl pocketed my money to buy herself a rat and had the friend's parents pay for her candy AND soda AND nachos. Relentless.